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by Proskenion



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content (kind of), M/M, Multi, Reader Insert, Violence, episode : s05e08 The Hollow Queen, missing scenes with reader insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-12-25 15:21:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12038694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Proskenion/pseuds/Proskenion
Summary: This starts at the end of the episode, the night before Merlin comes back with Daegal. AU where the reader is Gaius's apprentice and loves Merlin. Merlin is missing and the reader is dead worried so he/she decide to go to rescue him.Except for the reader insert there no canon-divergence.





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**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone !  
> Yes I know, another reader insert... I'm sorry ? I guess I somehow need to cuddle with those great characters... Anyway, I'm so SO excited about the Merlin Canon Fest, this is awesome !! I know my fic is not as good as all the wonderful works that has been shared during the fest but, I tried, and I'm very grateful and honoured to be part of it, thank you <3  
> Enjoy ! (And forgive my poor English and possible mistakes, English is not my first language...) Love and magic to all of you <3

You are staring at your plate without really seeing it as you’re lost in your thoughts. The silence between Gaius and you is becoming heavy but you don't even notice it. Finally, the old man talks, abruptly rousing you from your thoughts. 

« You should eat something. I know you're worried about Merlin, but... »  
« Worried? » you interrupt him, your eyes still staring at your plate. « Saying I'm worried is the biggest understatement of the century, Gaius. »

The old physician sighs and gently says: 

« Starving yourself won't help. »  
« I can't eat. » You mumble. 

Gaius sighs again. He puts his elbows on the table and his head on his fists and looks at you insistently until you finally look up at him. 

« Listen, (Y/N). I'm worried too. But there's nothing you can do now. And I'm sure Merlin is fine and that we'll have an explanation soon. » 

You give Gaius a look which means that you don't believe a word of what he just said and that you know he doesn't believe it either. 

« It's been two days, Gaius. » you said. « He should have been back for a long time now. Something happened and you know that. »  
« I'll talk to Arthur tomorrow morning. »  
« Tomorrow will be too late ! » you exclaim, suddenly losing your temper. « Something happened, something bad, I know it Gaius, I feel it! I feel it! Merlin's in danger and we have to do something now! » 

You just realise that while saying that you have jumped out of your chair making it fall on the floor, and your eyes are full of tears threatening to be shed at any moment. Gaius slowly gets up and walks towards you to take you by your shoulders and look at you in the eyes. 

« First, you calm down. And then, you listen to me. There's nothing you can do now. Let me talk to Arthur tomorrow and he will send a patrol to look for him. » 

As hard as you try you can't prevent yourself from breathing less and less easily, and your voice trembles when you say: 

« You don't understand, Gaius. Merlin's in danger. I - I feel it. I have to do something. »  
« And what will you do exactly? »  
« Go and find him. »  
« No, (Y/N). » He said, letting go of you. « No. »  
« I can't stay here and wait for bad news to come, Gaius. I can't. I just can't. »  
« I said no. »

Gaius's tone is unusually firm and angry. But he softens immediately as he resumes: 

« My child, don't you think I'm worried enough about Merlin missing ? I can't get worried for both of you. Please, show some mercy for my old heart. »

At that, you smile tenderly. But then, you say : 

« Please, Gaius. I have to go. You know that I have to. I’m sorry if this upsets you, I don’t want that and you know it. But you have to understand… »  
« Stop this, (Y/N). I said no. This is too dangerous. You don’t even know where to go. »  
« I’ll go to… »  
« That’s enough. » Gaius cuts you short. « You’re not going anywhere. It is night time, it is too late to go anywhere right now. You won’t go far on your own and you know that. Tomorrow morning I’ll go and talk to Arthur. And now I want you to promise me that you won’t try anything until then. Do you promise ? » 

The old man stares at you with insistence, waiting for an answer that doesn’t come. As hard as you want to please him you just can’t say the words. Because deep inside your heart you know that Merlin needs help and you know you would not be able to keep such a promise. And you can’t lie to Gaius just as much as you can’t abandon Merlin to his fate. But when Gaius asks you again to promise, you finally mutter : 

« Yes, I promise. » 

The words escape your lips almost against your will, just like a breath you can’t restrain. You see Gaius immediately relax. He smiles gently. 

« Good. Now, if you’re not hungry, just go to bed. It’s dark already. » 

You comply without more words and go straight to your room. You close the door behind you and go to sit on your bed. You clench your hands into fists to prevent them from shaking and you grit your teeth staring straight in front of you. The tears are still stuck in your eyes and you focus on your breath to help you calm down. And the more your breath gets deep, the more your determination stregthens. You’ll wait there until Gaius falls asleep and you’ll go to find Merlin. 

A knock at your door startles you and you turn vigorously to see Gaius come in with a cup of something hot, judging from the smoke that comes from it. 

« I’ve made you some herbal decoction. » he says. « To help you relax. » 

He sits down next to you and you take the cup from his hands with a smile. 

« Thank you, Gaius. »  
« I know how much you care about Merlin. » he says softly. « And you know I much I care about him myself, and how much I care about you. »  
« I know. I’m sorry. » 

You don’t really know what these apologies are for. For lying when you promise you won’t go ? For your decision to flee when he falls asleep ? Or just for your upsetting behaviour some minutes ago ? Or maybe for all of it at the same time… 

« Come on. Drink that and go to sleep. » he says. 

You tenderly smile at him and take a sip of the hot beverage. Gaius smiles back at you and gently claps you twice on your arm before getting up. He wishes you good night and leaves the room, closing the door behind him. 

« Good night, Gaius. » you whisper softly. 

Then you take the cup to your lips again and blow a bit on it before drinking it in one go. 

***

The only thing you can think of when you wake up is that your head feels surprisingly heavy, that your lumbs are numb and that opening your eyes is the last thing you want to do right now. Then you feel the softness of your pillow under your head and the heat of the sun on your skin and it makes you smile. 

Wait… The sun ? 

You open your eyes widely and quickly jump out of your bed. Too quickly, and that makes you feel dizzy. You close your eyes for a moment, both because of the vertigo and the brightness of the sun light. The sun light. That makes you groan in frustration. How could you have been stupid enough to fall asleep ? Who knows what time it is now and what happened to Merlin during all this time ? But it’s too late to ask questions now and you have no time to lose. So you open your eyes again and try to get up once more. But you still feel a bit dizzy and numb and the light blinds you. 

What’s wrong with you now ? Even if you usually are quite slow in the morning, being in such a state is not normal. You stretch yourself and vigorously clap your cheeks, trying to wake you up. And that’s when your eyes fall on the cup on your bed table. Understanding immediately strikes you. 

This was no casual herbal decoction. Gaius drugged you. He knew you never intended to keep your word. He knows you too well and you curse yourself for not having anticipated that. 

Stammering like if you were on a boat, you run towards the door. You literally fall on it and take the handle nervously. Locked. You desperately shake it, maybe hoping it would suddenly open or break. But the door stays closed and you give a huge strike against it with both your fists and a raging cry. The frustration makes you tremble and you let yourself glide along the wooden door until you’re kneeling on the floor. 

But you suddenly rise your head with a flash of hope and you take a look through the keyhole. And a huge, victorious smile immediately appears on your lips. The key ! Gaius lets the key in ! 

Without bothering to ask yourself how Gaius could have made such a mistake, you jump on your feet and run towards your desk. You still feel dizzy but you don’t notice, or at least you don’t mind, and the perspective to have a chance to get out has just given you a renewed energy. You take a piece of parchment and search frantically inside a drawer until you find a thin wooden stick. Then you run towards the door again. You kneel and pull the parchment under the door. Then you slowly put the stick in the keyhole, your tongue trapped between your teeth in concentration. And after a few seconds you can hear the muffled sound of the key falling on the floor. You freeze for a while and swallow. You listen attentively but everything’s quiet on the other side of the room. Gaius isn’t there. So you drag the parchment inside, very slowly, holding your breath. And then…

It worked ! The key has fallen exactly on the middle of the parchment and you managed to drag it inside !

You take it immediately and you put it inside the keyhole, almost shaking with excitement. The second later, you’re stambling outside the room. 

You run throughout the castle without listening to the pounding of your heart inside your chest. Your dizziness is slowly fading away and your legs are less and less numb and heavy. You immediately notice that the castle is very quiet and almost empty except from some servants here and there which means that everyone is already in the throne hall for the treaty between Arthur and the Sarrum. And that means it’s quite late already. So you keep running and a few minutes later you’re in the courtyard. You start to feel breathless but you don’t stop and rush to the drawbridge. 

Suddenly, your race is abruptly interrupted as you strongly collide with someone. That someone falls on the ground with a cry of pain and brings you with them. You apologize while trying to get up quickly when you suddenly realise who the person is. 

« MERLIN ! » 

You help him get up and stares at him in desbelief as if you were afraid he was a kind of hallucination and would vanish at any moment. 

« What happened ? Oh, Merlin, I was so worried ! I just… »  
« Where’s Arthur ? » Merlin cuts you short.  
« Arthur ? In the throne hall with the Sarrum, I suppose, he… »  
« We have to go ! » 

And Merlin rushes in the courtyard without more explanation. That’s only then that you notice the young boy with Merlin and you realise he’s the druid boy who asked him for help, and as he immediately runs after Merlin you decide to follow. Merlin is already struggling with the stairs when you arrive on the courtyard and you have to go faster to catch them, the boy being right after him. It takes you one look to notice that Merlin has a limp and you exclaim : 

« Merlin, your leg ! What happenned ? What’s going on ? »  
« Hurry up! » 

You understand that’s the only answer you’ll get so you just try to hurry as Merlin asked, more and more confused. But suddenly Merlin stops and says : 

« We can’t just burst out in the throne hall like that. Come on ! » 

And taking a different direction he starts running again, you and the boy at his back. Breathless, you ask for explanations once more. This time it’s the boy who answers :

« The king’s in danger. »

You don’t ask for more but you start to feel very worried. Your heart is pounding so loudly that it seems like it is literally jumping out of your chest, and even if the effects of Gaius’s potion are vanishing your legs are still heavy. 

All of a sudden, as you all rush inside another corridor, you see Merlin falling on the floor with a whine of pain. You call his name in distress and the second later you’re kneeling near him. 

« I’m fine ! » he exclaims with an impatient tone. 

But you can read the pain on his face as he tries to get up and you have to help him to his feet with the boy. Merlin takes a few seconds to catch his breath leaning on you. Then his eyes quickly scan the area and he lets go of you to fetch a wooden stick he could use as a crutch and the moment later he’s rushing through the castle again. But only a few minutes later and without warning, he abruptly stops. 

« What’s wrong ? » the boy asks.  
« This should be locked. » Merlin answers looking at an open door. 

You frown. This leads to the balcony of the throne hall and it should be locked indeed. Without any hesitation Merlin pushes the door wide open and rushes in stairs behind it. The boy follows and you come behind. When you arrive on at the top, sweaty and breathless, you immediately freeze in stupefaction. Right in front of you stands a man wearing the Sarrum guards uniform and pointing a threatening crossbow to you. And the second later, the man shots. 

The arrow whistles as it passes just a few inches from your face before crashing in the wood of the door behind you. You feel that your heart has just stopped beating for a second. But then you see the man taking knives at his belt and throwing them at you. You immediately jump to the floor and you see Merlin and the boy doing the same. 

After that, everything seems to go even faster, or maybe you just lose the notion of time in your confusion. You hear a painful moan near you so you look up and see the young boy lying on the floor with his hands on his stomack. Quite instinctively you crawl towards him and put your hands on his and gently remove them from his body. Your eyes widened in horror when you see the knife planted in his belly and the blood running out of the wound. 

« Oh no… » you hear yourself whispering. 

You know you should do something but your mind is paralyzed and you look at the young boy’s painful face with a look of panick and despair. Trembling, you finally put your hand on the wound. But then a whistle and a strangled cry above you distract you and you look up in fear. Merlin is kneeling not far from you, his arm stretched in the direction of the Sarrum’s guard who is collapsing on the floor with an iron stick planted inside his flank. 

Cold fingers clench on your wrist. You look down and your eyes meet those of the druid boy. He’s staring at you in despair and this vision pierces through your heart. You gently put your hand on his. His skin is cold as ice and pale as death, and you understand he won’t last long. So you just hold his hands and whisper : 

« Sshh – there, there – it’s alright… » 

Then you look up and see Merlin is on his feet. He’s looking down from the balcony to the throne hall with relief. You call him, but your voice is only a whisper. He turns to you and exclaims with a smile :

« We did it ! » 

But his smile fades away when he sees you holding the wounded boy and he rushes to kneel next to you. He puts his hand on the boy’s neck. 

« Did I save Arthur ? » the boy asks with difficulty.  
« Yes. » Merlin whispers.  
« Did I do something good ? » the boy painfully asks. « Finally, I… » 

You can’t explain why but hearing the sound of the young boy’s voice – this boy whom you don’t even know the name – at that exact moment just breaks your heart. So you keep holding his hands in yours while Merlin answers with tears in the eyes : 

« You did. » 

You can see the shadow of a smile on the boy’s lips. And then you feel his fingers slowly releasing their pressure on yours and you know he’s gone. You watch the tears on Merlin’s cheeks and you keep holding the boy’s hands as you feel your own eyes filling with tears. You can’t move, you can’t speak, there is nothing you can do now so you just stay there, your eyes stuck on your friend’s sorrowful face and your hands holding the ones of a boy too young to die and whom you couldn’t save. 

But you don’t stay like that long, as you hear footsteps rushing in the stairs, and the second later Sir Leon appears with knights following him. You get up and so does Merlin, quickly wipping his tears and trying to regain a composure. Leon gives you and your friend a surprised look and asks :

« What are you doing here ? What happened ? » 

And then his eyes fall on the boy on the floor and he asks : 

« Who is this ? »  
« He saved Arthur. » Merlin says. « He saved the king. »

And as Leon looks at you both in disbelief you add : 

« The door downstairs was open, it alarmed us so we came and found them. » 

That is when Sir Leon only notices the corpse of the Sarrum’s guards and more confusion appears on his face. 

« A Sarrum’s man. » Leon says  
« He was about to kill Arthur. » Merlin explains. « The boy killed him. He said so, before… » 

But the end of the sentence gets stuck in his throat. Leon nods in comprehension. Then he turns to his men to give them a sign to come and take care of the two corpses. 

« You two can go now. » Leon says to you and Merlin.

You nod and turn to Merlin. You take him by his arm and invite him to come with you. 

« Come. » you whisper so no one except him can hear you. « There is nothing you can do now. Let’s go so I can take care of your leg. » 

Merlin slowly nods and you help him walk as his leg seems to hurt him more than ever. No one seems to notice his limp though and you don’t know why exactly but that reassures you. 

When you finally arrive to Gaius's chamber you lead Merlin to the bed and help him sit down. Then you kneel and start unleashing his boots.

« I can do that. » Merlin says.  
« Let me do it. »

So you take off his shoes and make him lie down on the bed. Then you roll up his pants to reveal his broken leg. You stop when you see it had been treated already. 

« Who did this ? » you ask.  
« The boy. » Merlin answers.  
« Oh. He did well. » you say. « That's good, it will help. You'll keep it the time I make a poultice. » 

Merlin nods before leaning his head on the pillow and closing his eyes. He seems so tired. 

You go to the cupboard to take all the ingredients you need and then start to prepare the poultice. You glance at Merlin and ask : 

« So, what happened to you ? You left with this druid boy and disappeared for two days, and then you suddenly came back injured and with the same druid boy just to prevent the Sarrum to murder Arthur. I think this needs explanations. »

Merlin opens an eye and glance at you. Then he sighs and says: 

« He wasn't a druid and he had no sister. It was a trap. He led me straight to Morgana. »  
« Morgana, of course. » You say, and there's both anger and sorrow in your voice, as always when you talk about her. « But I don't understand, the boy... »  
« She manipulated him. When I arrived she knocked me out and gave me some poison. After that, he came back and found herbs for the antidote and we ran back to Camelot. »

While he tells you this you finish your preparation. You go to him and start undo the bandage on his leg.

« If it wasn't for him Arthur and I would be dead by now." Merlin says with sadness in his voice. "And now, he's dead... »

You swallow and don't answer immediately, focusing on applying the poultice correctly. Then you whisper : 

« I'm sorry. »  
« What? »  
« I'm sorry I couldn't save him. I... I was like petrified, I didn't know what to do, he was there bleeding and... I did nothing. » 

Merlin looks at you with a sorrowful face, his eyebrows slightly frowned. 

« What is the use of learning all this with Gaius if I can't even save a boy? »  
« You couldn't do anything. » Merlin says in a whisper. « He was dying. » 

You sigh and look at him. He's smiling, not as gleefully as he usually does, but he's smiling all the same, and so you smile back at him. And then you take his hand and kiss his fingers before putting a hand on his cheek and say: 

« I'm so relieved you're back home. » 

He kisses softly your palm and you smile at each other once more. Then you focus on his leg to finish his new bandage. 

« What were you doing outside the castle by the way ? » Merlin asks suddenly.  
« Coming after you. » You answer with an amused smile.  
« You wanted to save me? » he teases.  
« No, I wanted to be sure you will never come back. » You answer playfully. 

He tongues you and you laugh. 

« I was so worried. » You say more seriously. « I would have left the day after you did when I saw you wouldn't come back, but Gaius convinced me to wait. But I couldn't wait any longer. Actually I intended to leave during the night, but Gaius guessed my intentions and he drugged me and locked me in my room. »  
« That's Gaius. » Merlin says, amused. « How did you get out ? »  
« He left the key on the hole. »  
« That's Gaius too. »

At that you laugh together. You've finished the bandage so you get up to tide things up and put everything in its place in the cupboard. Then you come back and sit on the bed next to him. 

« Come here. » He says sweetly. 

You smile, and slowly you bench over him and put a kiss on his lips. He smiles and then you kiss him again, gently but passionately. You feel his hands on your waist and then one of them glides to the bottom of your back and he presses you against him, so you abide and lie on the bed, your body against his. You leave his mouth to start kissing him in the neck. 

You turn your back to the door. That's why you can't see Gaius coming and when he speaks you startle with a squeak. 

« Am I interrupting something ? » The old physician asks.

You immediately blush and get up from the bed. But Merlin doesn't seem as embarrassed as you are and says : 

« Hi Gaius! I'm back, finally. »  
« And that's such a relief. » Gaius answers. « You have much to tell me for sure, but first let me ask you what you are doing in my bed ? »

You blush even more and start mumbling : 

« We... I... Merlin broke his leg, I made him lay there to cure it... »  
« I see. A very enjoyable cure it is. » Gaius says, half amused, half severe. « And how did you get out of your room, by the way ? »  
« I... Merlin opened it. »  
« I did. » Merlin adds. 

Gaius gives the both of you a suspicious looks but asks for no more explanations. Then he walks to the bed and look at Merlin’s leg. He nods and says : 

« Well, you should have some rest now Merlin. Surely the last days have been exhausting for you. And Arthur will need you soon. Have a good nap while (Y/N) and I cook for dinner. » 

Merlin nods with a smile and settles comfortably on the bed while you do as Gaius said and go to fetch some food. It does not take long before Merlin falls asleep. A moment later Gaius joins you to help. He first stays silent but suddenly he says : 

« You did very well with his leg. You may be cheeky and desobedient, but you’re a good physician. » 

You look at him and you see he’s smiling, so you smile too, slightly embarrassed but quite proud. 

« Thank you, Gaius. » 

***

It’s dark in the room and you’re a bit cold so you tighten your shawl on your shoulders and your throat. It’s late, Gaius is in bed so you don’t dare lighting a candle. You should be sleeping too, but you don’t want to go to bed before Merlin has returned from his duties with Arthur. So you just sit there wrapped in your shawl and with an open book on your knees that you can’t read now since it’s too dark. 

But finally the door opens. When he sees you Merlin smiles. You put a finger on your lips to ask him to stay quiet and show Gaius sleeping with a sign of your head. He nods with understanding. Then he walks to you, almost on tip-toes and still limping, and kisses you on your forehead. 

« You shouldn’t have waited » he whispers.  
« Now that you’re here we should go to sleep. » 

Gaius suddenly moans. You both turn to him but the old man does not wake up. 

« Go to your room » you whisper. « We could talk there. » 

Merlin nods and abides immediately. You quickly join him with a cup of hot decoction. When you come in you find him already in bed. You sit next to him on the mattress. 

« There, for the pain. » you say, giving him the cup.  
« Thank you. »  
« I shall check your bandage tomorrow morning. »  
« Alright. » 

Merlin takes a sip of the decoction before saying : 

« I’ve heard strange rumors. Apparently I’ve left for two days because I’m seeing a girl ? Arthur seems to believe it. »  
« Ah, yes. » you say with half a smile. « Gaius reported me such rumors earlier. I believe Gwen started it… Should I be worried ? »  
« Maybe you should. » He answers playfully. 

But then Merlin sighs and his amused smile fades away. 

« Arthur’s so naive sometimes. »  
« Has he really not understood for us ? » you ask.  
« If he had he would not have believed Gwen, and that’s such a pity. How is it he doesn’t see something wrong with her ? » he suddenly exclaims in exasperation.  
« He’s in love. » you whisper. 

And then after a silence you ask : 

« What are we going to do with Gwen ? »  
« I don’t know. But we have to do something, and quickly. Morgana has a complete control on her. »  
« Maybe you should talk to Arthur. »  
« Yes, I probably should indeed. » he says with a look of concern. 

He sighs and drinks the rest of his cup. You take it from his hands and put it on the floor at your feet while Merlin settles himself more comfortably. 

« Arthur asked me to burry the boy properly. » he mumbles with a sleepy voice, his eyes already closed. « I’ll see what to do tomorrow after that’s done… »  
« Yes. » you sweetly whisper while gently stroking his hair. « But for now, stop worrying about it, and have some rest. You deserve it. » 

Merlin softly moans as an answer and you smile. You stay with him until he falls asleep, which does not take long. When you finally hear the sound of his deep sleepy breath you get up and put a soft kiss on his temple before blowing the candlelight. 

« Good night, my brave little warlock. »


End file.
